As I have started to feel my energy return and seeing the light at the end of the long tunnel of loss I have been walking through, I’ve taken the time to feel into the many responses I have received from clients, friends and my community.
I keep hearing so many stories about the intense heaviness of loss, and that some of us are able to really connect with the sweetness, the sacredness and the beauty that is available inside each passage, transition and loss. And some of us can get swallowed up in the grief and feel consumed by sadness and an inability to move on. And as I’ve listened to the stories and felt into what has helped me to feel so held and blessed during this potent and challenging time of grieving is one key that, I think could help us all to shift from living in the past with regrets and remorse, to celebrating our lives and moving out of the darkness and into the bright side of life.
I shared a little bit of what I discovered here in this week’s video and I invite you to check it out.
Being able to be fully present with what is happening, to listen, to really be fully available, to surrender to what’s going on, rather than trying to fight the loss, ignore it, push it away or otherwise tune out from the pain gives us the ability to show up for these powerful, life-altering experiences in a way that keeps us out of the dark shadows of regret. Regret seems to be a prison we put ourselves in that traps us in the past, and the only key to releasing ourselves is to be fully present (and to find forgiveness for how we’ve dealt with the difficult times in our lives).
The truth is, we don’t live in a culture that tells us how to deal with death, so truly, just getting through it with one’s sanity is something to be proud of.
But it is so important to recognize that when we see that a loss is imminent: in a relationship, a job, our physical capacity, or saying good-bye to a loved one . . . that being present with every phase allows us to respond in ways that can really serve a graceful flow that creates gentleness during this challenging time. This allows us, as we look back at the process, to say “I wouldn’t have done it any differently,” and I think that this is the absolute biggest gift we can give to ourselves. It allows us to move forward, heal, strengthen, grow and fully participate in what life is offering us on the next leg of our journey.
And if you’ve had a loss that you find yourself stuck in, full of regrets, there’s still an opportunity to heal and let those regrets become helpful guides and allies. It requires compassion and forgiveness, and it requires finally having all the feelings that were avoided. It can be something that is overwhelming, and so I invite you to get help with this process. From a friend, from a professional. There is absolutely no need to stay stuck in the past and to let regret eat away at your happiness and keep you from fully living the immense gift that life is waiting to offer you RIGHT NOW.
So please, don’t waste one minute more. There is no honor, reward or benefit in letting regret run your life. It’s time to let those feelings go, cut the anchor of the past and allow yourself to be fully engaged with what life has placed in front of you to experience in this moment . . . and this moment . . . and this one.
May you feel fully supported and nourished on your journey and please don’t ever hesitate to reach out. I’m here to help you thrive and live a life free from regrets.
Please tell me what your experience is with regret. How have you kept yourself free from regrets, or how have regrets shown up in your life? Share below in the comments section.