What to do with regret & outrage?

I just want to say that I have been feeling the deep sense of outrage that has rippled through our community as the result of a continually failing “justice” system. We have so many people in jail and prison and there’s so much inconsistency in how punishments are handed down, and, truthfully, it feels like an immensely antiquated system that is creating more harm. As the veils thin and more and more humans are choosing community, connection, love, sustainability, balance, and health instead of control, ownership, us vs. them, it seems obvious that the prison system is lagging far behind in the whole train of human conscious evolution.

And the truth is, many of us feel upset, but then we don’t really know what to do with it. How can we take real action to make our world a better place? It can be easier to just try to tune it out.

And that’s the same for when we have regret in our lives. Events we wish we could have done differently, but now are stuck in the place of being aware of the damage, but feeling hopeless and powerless to do anything about it. Is there a solution? Yes, in fact, there is.

Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I wanted to share a potent tool I’ve used many times for myself, and have shared it with pretty much every client and many of the groups I teach and speak to. It has brought about miraculous results in my life and the lives of many others, and I think it is really important to share this tool so that each one of us can do our part in making the planet a place of healing and loving relationships rather than disconnection, separation and contention.

The tool is a Huna Hawai’i’an practice called Ho’o Pono Pono. There are books and probably workshops you can take on this experience, and I am no expert at it, but I have used it many times and can truly say it has played an immense role in healing some circumstances that I felt were hopeless. (Not just my own experience, but for others as well.)

I invite you to check out this video where I share the 4 basic steps and go into the details of how I have integrated them into my practice for maximum potency.

Again, the 4 steps are:

1) Apologize
2) Ask for forgiveness
3) Say “I love you”
4) Say “Thank you” for the healing

There are SO MANY WAYS that this practice can be used and integrated into other practices so that it really serves you. I had one friend tell me she used it to get a call back on a job she really wanted, but felt the hiring manager’s assistant had blown her off. I have used it to heal crunchy relationships that have not been available for live and in-person healing. Again, I’ve always experienced potent and positive results and so I highly recommend it for ANYTHING that you are experiencing that feels outside of your control and painful.

I want to put out a personal prayer for our personal healing in old unresolved upsets and a complete transformation of how we deal with criminals. I believe that focusing on restoration, healing and going to the heart of why the crimes were committed in the first place is where true justice lies. It may not be easy or pretty, but I believe it holds the keys to a healthier planet. Fortunately there are amazing pioneers who are growing this concept in the world through Restorative Justice, which is a practice that focuses on bringing healing to victims and perpetrators of crimes rather than punishment, which frequently leaves the victims and their needs largely unconsidered, and offers no real help to those who broke the law so that they can make a better choice for themselves in the future. There are really potent parallels here between regret we hold inside ourselves and the injustices that exist out there, and I believe that when we start to shift from within, it ripples out and becomes a reflection in our external world as well. Don’t ever underestimate the necessity and potency of you doing what you can to heal your life. Every single person choosing to live with more love and peace in their hearts makes a huge difference in the world. That means that you hold in your hands the most powerful tool for a healing planet. Are you ready to use it?

Please let me know how you are using this practice in your life and how it is impacting your relationships in the comments section below.

Here is a resource for more information on Restorative Justice I highly recommend:


Sending a prayer for deep healing for ALL who have been harmed, and all who have caused harm. May there be liberation from the suffering and a coming together in loving kindness.

Until next week, all blessings.


  1. Tara on July 18, 2013 at 3:37 pm

    Thank you for this Amanda, this seems like a really amazing tool and I will definitely use it.

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