Are you in the market for more love? Single and hoping to find “the one?” Or maybe you have a relationship, but the love that once flowed freely is a little trickle that could use a booster?
Yes? Then this week’s Goddess Diary is for YOU!
Any journey one takes starts with the self. We have to prepare, we have to make sure we are fit for the trip, we are responsible for gathering the resources we need before we head out.
The journey into love is no different. Most of of think that if we do lots of great things for other people, then they will love us. That is the greatest misconception. I was raised in a really great home where “Do unto others” was practiced and taking care of others before taking care of the self was the order of the day. What it lead to was NOT KNOWING MYSELF for a very long time, and depleting my resources, my energy, my health and my self-esteem. It also lead to a great internal deficit that, guess what? I needed to reimburse. How did I rebuild my stores? Through hidden agendas (I’ll take care of you, but then I am going to expect you to take care of my needs later on when I crash). That isn’t loving, isn’t kind. It is co-dependent and a set-up for a complete collapse since the relationships built this way are ALL OFF CENTER.
Once you start the practice of self-love, you’ll soon find how easy it is to fill up your stores and then offer what is flowing from your abundant cup to others. THAT is an amazing gift. Whether we want to admit it or not, I think we can all easily recognize the acts of kindness that come from a place of abundance and the acts of kindness that come from a place of self-sacrifice that are offered in exchange for hidden needs and a sense of unworthiness. When we offer gifts from a place of abundance we are spreading the mentality of “plenty for everyone,” and we give permission to those around us to also operate from that place of abundance. Before long, we have families, work places and communities that are full of a sense of abundance and genuine generosity.
When we give from a place of martyrdom, we spread an unspoken debt that creates a sense of “not enough-ness” (resources, personal worthiness . . .) and that just isn’t sustainable. And truthfully, it isn’t attractive (except to unhealthy people who will either feed off of it and then leave the martyr high and dry, or perpetuate that co-dependent debt.
If you find yourself continually doing lots of nice things for others and then feeling like there is no one there to help you when you need it, you have become trapped in the martyr mind. Consider pouring the abundant resources you so freely give to other people into your own needs first. Any friends you lose as a result of taking care of yourself weren’t your friends to begin with. And you’ll be much more likely to draw in the kinds of relationships, especially romantic ones, that are genuine and based on the wonderfulness of you, not what you can do to bribe someone to be with you.
If you aren’t sure exactly how to get the ball rolling in the right direction and would like some MORE support in the self-love department, JOIN ME on August 10th for a dive into the Temple of Self-Love. It’s a gentle and G rated journey into bliss where you’ll nourish your senses and awaken the self-love bug. DISCOUNTED TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE HERE NOW.
Until next week, may LOVE & the Source be with you!
x & o & <3