“Baby, I was born this way!”
"You're either a shaman or a serial killer"
I’ve been told by more than a few astrologers that I have an “intense chart,” especially marked by a Scorpio Moon, which, I’ve heard more than once makes you "either a shaman or a serial killer" . . . mostly because it takes you deep into the darkness, emotionally, and I guess you either sink in and let it consume you, or you learn to swim, shine your light, and bring some healing to the hidden places.
Some of the people I share this astrological marker with . . . Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, Scarlett Johansson, Cyndi Lauper, Bruce Lee . . .
And it makes a lot of sense. Early on, I was fascinated with the criminal mind and thought I would work with and heal serial killers (you gotta cut me some slack . . . I was only 10 years old, but oh my ego ran wild).
Then I realized that the fascination was heavy and created a dark cloud that impacted me and I also realized “Why not use my gifts to help those who actually strive to rescue their own light and let it shine?" Instead of stroking my ego and trying to crack the sociopathic mind, I chose to lift up those who are already working to make the world a better place, but stuck in their own unsolicited pain and suffering.
Sociopaths or Healers?
So, I shifted focus. I did 11 years of child welfare, much of the time on the Emergency Response and Sexual Abuse teams. Bringing calm and care to people in crisis. At times, even my Scorpio Moon got overwhelmed with the constant immersion in the worst of the worst case scenarios, and I tried to leave. I applied for (and was offered) multiple jobs that had more prestige, paid better, and were MUCH safer (even police officers told me they wouldn’t want my job because they got to sometimes respond to enjoyable calls and they got to carry guns for their protection). Each time I was offered a “better” job, I would get the dreams that would let me know I was still needed where I was.
Then one day, Source tapped me on the shoulder and said “You’re free. You can do anything you want.”
That’s when I quit my job, went to California Institute of Integral Studies, and officially started my path as a healer, forging my own offerings and finding my way outside the 9-5 income and the constant exposure to crisis.
Freedom wasn't the magical ride I'd assumed
I can’t say it was all rainbows and unicorns. The entrepreneurial struggle with absolutely no exposure to anything beyond blue collar work from my parents (and not much support in my education after high school) was real.
My Scorpio Moon made for a powerful life of diving into the depths of the darkness, in relationships and finding my way as a spiritual guide and entrepreneur.
I guess all of the big, expansive “good luck” of the Sagittarius Sun & Ascending helps to bring the light and the positivity needed to navigate those depths.
Dark Nights of the Soul
And I have plumbed the depths - my own dark nights of the soul (multiple) have taken me into suicidal thoughts (and even attempts starting at age 12), but I’ve also reached profound heights of truly communing with Source, experiencing the ecstasy of Samadhi union with the limitless presence of the Holy. I’ve been shown some of the secrets of life and manifestation, and have experienced miracles that would be difficult to believe (so I don’t often talk about them).
I know we all have free will, and I do take accountability for the incredible life I’ve lived and the choices I've made, but I do feel like I was born with a particular human design that has helped me to become the powerful space holder that I am today.
Bringing light to the darkness
I have yet to meet a client I can’t completely love and embrace with compassion and there isn’t a person in my past I can’t completely forgive with deep understanding, and there hasn’t been a person who’s come to ceremony I couldn’t hold with love and respect, regardless of their own self-judgment.
So, my Scorpio Moon may mean that dancing with me on any level of intimacy, as a dear friend, a partner, or a client, is an unspoken ticket into the depths of the subconscious mind, a releasing of the skeletons in the closet, and dancing with the demons until they've got all their ya-ya's out, but I’m also designed to be a bringer of love, light, and compassion into those deep, dark places.
I've come to do major clean up on aisle 4 (and so have you)
It’s definitely a “wild” ride, but I can’t imagine experiencing life any other way. It took a long time to find my way out of the darkness and into the light of embracing my life as the sacred gift it is, and now that is one of the most important messages I want everyone to really take in, and I think this is a theme for the Scorpio Moon journey, as one of the most iconic of our tribe so beautifully expressed . . .
"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are"
She said, "'Cause He made you perfect, babe
So hold your head up, girl, and you'll go far"
Listen to me when I say . . . Baby I was born this way.” ~ Lady Gaga