Can you believe how fast the holidays are speeding up on us? Despite the celebratory facade, time with family can bring up some . . . schtuff. And I thought now would be a great time to share some insights and tips to help us all rock the holidays and come out the other side filled with love, dignity and holding on to our authentic selves. Are you ready?
Okay, so let’s review:
First is to REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE NOW. It’s easy to regress back into old roles when we’re with family (and to project old roles onto our loved ones). The scapegoat, the golden child, the flake, the tattle-tale . . . Allow yourself to be who you are now so your family has the opportunity to love the present you.
Second, RESOURCE YOURSELF. If there is past abuse, make sure you have some allies around you (or available by phone), and check in with yourself to see if your time with your family is genuinely helpful or harmful. Putting on a front and allowing yourself to be re-traumatized (or even just enduring a painful event) isn’t doing anyone any good.
Third, come armed with questions that allow the conversations amongst your family to CREATE HEART-FELT CONNECTIONS, like:
“What advice would you give your young self?”
“Who do you most admire and why?”
“If you could meet any person throughout time, who would it be, and what would you ask or say to them?”
Fourth, COME WITH AN OPEN MIND. Allow yourself to pretend you are an explorer, learning about this culture anew. Let your mind be free of old stories and projections, and give your family the chance to shine. Going in with the assumption that LOVE WINS will make that most likely to happen.
And, please add your comments and ideas for how to make the holidays more joy-filled and less stressful for us all!
Until next week, may the Source be with you!