Blog

My Prayer for Sovereignty

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

Here I am on the Sacred Feminine 13th Freya-Day under a Super New Scorpio Moon and Scorpio Sun. With my moon in Scorpio and my body in a cocoon. My soul so grateful for deeply knowing and loving myself, even as my hardest places arise, I can fully feel them, welcome them into my heart, and find a place of loving kindness within.   SO many wounds coming up to be healed. So many places that were projected upon that were harmful. And I have let them take precedence over the majesty and sacredness of my own sense of myself.   What a blessing when I finally allowed myself to see this for the first time. I have had to come back to it many times. So many opportunities to get lost in the hard reflections of others. What a blessing to have been on this journey, somehow innately knowing...

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Feeling Masterful or Overwhelmed?

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

Quantum leap from overwhelm to mastery with one simple mind shift. (unfinished) Image by Adrianne Tamar Arachne Today has been full of potent transmissions.   I just returned from visiting my sweet Mama in Southern Utah, where she was born and raised, to celebrate her 90th birthday! It was a deeply nourishing and powerful experience.   Today, as I put my body back together from the hours in planes and cars and being with the loved ones, this transmission came through.   I felt deeply nourished by it, and thought you might enjoy it too.   The first thing that happened was that I was reminded of a powerful message that came through over a year and a half ago . . .   You are in a powerful time of transformation. This prayer is already in Sacred Motion. There is nothing you need to do to MAKE it happen....

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Beyond Overwhelm: Shining your light in times of relentless darkness

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

I’ve had a profound realization about an old pattern that comes up when things are tough. The old pattern goes something like this . . . I feel myself consumed by the stress (constriction in my heart, all my energy gets drained, and I fall into despair), and then I collapse inside and want to give up. The collapse into hopelessness and overwhelm comes from a place that believes if I let myself go there, then that will be a signal to . . . God? The Universe? Some Rescuer? That I’ve had enough now, and I can give up and the struggle will be over. This hasn’t ever worked. This experience hasn’t been able to control the challenges. They haven’t magically come to an end just because I feel like I can’t take anymore. During times of initiation, like this, when the challenges just keep coming relentlessly, I collapse,...

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Woman hands at heart

A Response to Ridicule

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

It was one of the first warm days of spring, and I was with my second grade class at recess. At the tender age of just eight years old, I had already started going through puberty. Not only was I a full head and shoulders taller than my classmates, I thought differently, (getting “Source” messages and seeing the world through my 3rd eye), and now I was going through a  metamorphosis. It often felt like I was the main character in a Kafka novel. So, I already knew I didn’t fit in. “Weird” was commonly used to describe me, sometimes even by well-meaning people who loved me. Timmy Loveless (perfect name, right?) pointed to my chest and said “You have boobies!” and laughed and then, soon, I was at the center of a circle of my classmates pointing and laughing. I wanted to curl up and die. I wanted to disappear....

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An Invitation for Well-Meaning Men

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

Invitation for Well-Meaning Men TRIGGER WARNING: Murder & Calling our brothers in for self-reflection.   There’s been a relationship dynamic that has emerged for me over the past few months. It is a quality that I’ve witnessed in many people, including myself, however, it seems to be pervasive and particularly powerful (and unapologetically expressed) in white men.   This week has been filled with an intense amount of emotional tenderness over traumas I’ve moved through in relationship to men who have been taught that their will and desire is the law of the land, and have been taught the value of dominance over reverence.   First I want to say that the men I’ve witnessed this dynamic in have a lot of really great qualities. I’ve seen a lot of helpfulness and generosity, and there’s even been elements of protectiveness and stepping in as providers. The toxic problem rears its...

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3 Things You Need to Do Right Now for Best Outcomes

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

For the longest time you’ve been saying “If I could just unplug from my daily grind I’d finally _________________.” And now we have a complete planetary pause happening and what are you doing? Binging on your Netflix list? Really? I know there are all sorts of reasons to be freaking out, and I’m not saying that what is facing us right now isn’t serious. It’s a global pandemic for goodness sake! It’s really serious. BUT it holds within it many opportunities. Imagine someone with a big plan. Maybe it’s a huge complex that has co-working offices, businesses, health and wellness services, food services, sports facility . . . it’s a whole community center. There’s a vision behind it. So much goes into planning it out. The needs of the people, costs, flow of traffic, hours of operation . . . And then, as time goes by, the community shifts and...

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Love in the Time of Coronavirus

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

On Valentine’s Day, 2003, I was in a courtroom I often appeared in to testify as a Child Welfare Worker, in front of a judge I had often spoken to about the welfare of the families I was serving in Marin County for the Department of Child and Family Services. But on this day, I was not there representing the county. I was there representing myself. I knew several lawyers who had offered to show up and support my case, but it was so toxic I wanted everyone I knew to be as far away from it as possible. So, I was there on my own. I was in court fighting to uphold the restraining order I had taken out against my husband, who had become addicted to meth-amphetamines and had all but destroyed our home and most of our possessions. It had long been unsafe for me to be...

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One of Ayahuasca’s Many Gifts

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

It was the day after the sound healing I had done for a workshop at Esalen. We were all sitting around in the dining room having breakfast. He’d already told me the night before that he was really moved by my voice and that it had transported him to “the same place that DMT does,” and now he was telling me again how much he appreciated my offering. There was something very familiar about him and I was starting to put some pieces together. His name is Dave, he keeps talking about his band project in L.A. . . . “Hey Dave, what is the name of the band you’re in?” “Oh,” he replied, “It’s a band called Jane’s Addiction.” Dave Navarro! It was Dave fucking Navarro! And he was expounding upon my music?! Was I in another reality? This hardly seemed real and I almost felt like I needed...

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The Shadows that Emerge when Ascending

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

In an instant, I had gone from an ecstatic DMT-like journey into excruciating pain. I was certain I was having a heart attack, and as I brought myself back into conscious awareness of my surroundings, I could see my partner smiling at me with a pleased look on his face. I knew I was in the throes of a fear-based subconscious program, but since my other cognitive functions were locked around the pain and convinced I was dying, I couldn’t think anything other than “Why isn’t he helping me? Why does he seem so calm and happy? He must have planned this. This must be some sort of trick to dominate me!” I knew I was either absolutely bat-shit crazy because my shadow was being excavated by our powerful Tantric energetic healing practice, or I was heart-breakingly accurate. WHO KNEW? In that moment, I had no certainty about anything. I...

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3 Steps to Connection After a Wobble

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

At the end of this month, I will have spent 6 months of my life connecting, deepening and building the life of my prayers with my beloved, Ramadin. In some ways it feels like lifetimes because there is so much that feels solid, grounded, and deeply rooted. I almost can’t imagine (and honestly don’t particularly want to) life without him. The visions I have held near and dear to my heart for so long are all manifesting with grace, ease, and the delight of sharing and celebrating it with a loving partner in healthy and aligned partnership. His presence in my life helped me to realize how much I had been holding and manifesting on my own, and how many high expectations I had put on myself that, honestly, were superhuman and unfair to myself. It’s such an immense gift to share a vision, dream, and prayer with someone who...

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Pain: a love story

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

When I was born, my feet turned in (“pigeon toed,” I believe it is unceremoniously referred to). In 1971, the treatment was to turn my feet in the “right direction” and then cast my legs all the way up to my hips to force the growth like tree branches being bent into pretty shapes. A set of tiny casts that were on my legs at birth. My fate was much better than my Mom’s, who had to wear braces, but I was given special exercises to help my feet to grow forward facing. The result of my deformity at birth and the consequential cures left me with ankles that sprained easily and with legs that would feel full of hot daggers after a gentle hike or night of dancing. Over time, I started to feel critical of myself. Not realizing that my body had been twisted out of alignment. I...

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Ceremony: An Act of Rebellion

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

How can attending a ceremony be an act of rebellion? We spend a good chunk of our days moving through programs. How we engage with our screens to communicate, schedule, get information, make plans and connections . . . creates patterns of movement and thought. How we get from one place to another, obeying traffic signs and navigating city design. How we go about feeding and sustaining ourselves . . . all of these experiences have patterns of movement, thought, and behavior, and most of them are created from a human intention of getting you to follow a predictable flow of actions, thoughts, and even feelings. It may seem benign from the outside, but what we subject ourselves to, daily, continues to create programming that limits the creative thought processes and ways that we shape our lives. We absolutely know that our data is being mined and used to influence...

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How Your Low Self-Worth is Making You Come Off as an Ingrate

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

First off, I’ll say that I’m facing this one myself, so I’m speaking from personal experience as the arrogant ingrate. And I see it all around me. It’s heartbreaking that this painful trauma program can create such a paradoxical reality, and so I thought I would break it down a bit. Maybe you’ll see yourself on the giving or receiving end and have more compassion (for yourself or someone else).   So just recently, I was with someone I care about quite a bit. We’re getting to know each other better and he said some things that were profoundly touching. They were expressions that let me know he wants to step in with me on a deep level. Like, if I were to write a really fantastic romance novel scene, this would be in it.   What I felt was “Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m hearing these words....

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Medicine Story: Healing my relationship with the Sacred Masculine – what the Fox told me.

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

My Healing with the Masculine The Sacred Mythology of Fox Medicine As I dive into deep healing of the wounding I have been engaged with over my relationship with the masculine, I ask, “What is the evolution of this painful story?” The only way to heal is to allow a vision of an elevation to arise. What has emerged from that prayer and meditation is a true story that is also a mythology. This story is a Medicine story, meaning that it is shared in a ceremonial way. I offer it to you in that way. May it serve an awakening of healing and elevation within you. ____________ One day, several years ago, as I walked on my favorite trail, just beyond my back yard, I came around a bend to see something run from a big winding Oak tree. I thought “Fox!” and then immediately thought how silly that...

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How I quit giving my power away to men (by surrendering)

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

I had the immense pleasure of receiving deep and profound healing recently. There are elements of my wounding that I have done so much work on and at some point, several years ago, got the message that I had done everything I could do for myself and needed someone else to assist me. Because so much of the wounding that I carry in my spirit and my body come from ruptured relationships with the masculine, it seemed most reasonable that it would be from the hands of the masculine that I would be most fully liberated – at least that’s what Source showed me, and after sitting with it, it made sense. I had hoped that partners could do it, but often, those wounds were activated, but not held in the way that my spirit so longed for. So, I have been in a prayer for a very long time....

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The Problem with Science

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

There have been a LOT of posts about the importance of science, and science IS important, but . . . “science” can mean a LOT of things. Monsanto has science behind them but I don’t buy it. I have a friend who is a scientist who says that the reports she’s seen do not support claims of climate change; and there are many scientists who say it is a real and impending issue – I tend to agree with them. NASA has scientists who sent people to the moon, and there are scientists who have interesting arguments that have convinced many that the moon landing couldn’t have happened. Even when we can look at “just the facts,” there are many ways of interpreting them, what is focused on, what is considered unimportant, what connections are made and what conclusions are drawn. Scientists have biases that skew their approach and their...

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I’m sorry. I want to do better. Please read.

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

Hey Spiritual SuperSTAR; I want to acknowledge that I haven’t really been pouring the kind of deliciousness and value into this place that I have wanted. You deserve better, and I am going to make a commitment to you right now to start offering more of me to you. It has been exactly forever since I had the time, bandwidth and clarity to sit down and offer something deep and from the heart here. I’ve done my best to post things on Facebook and Instagram, and at some point, the immensely fast pace at which my life has been moving has made it seem not only impossible, but even pointless to try to summarize or put a pin in somewhere. So many poignant moments, lessons, insights and valuable pearls I’ve wanted and tried to share, but the pace of personal growth has been faster than the speed of a Facebook live-stream. For...

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The Trouble with Spin

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

We all do it in some form or another. We can’t help it. We feel connected with people and that changes how we communicate with them. We start to attune to their perspectives and that shifts how we see the world. But there is a point at which natural resonance and attunement shifts over into spin. You can feel the difference. Changing what you say about a situation, a person, yourself . . . to influence someone to buy into a story or a position. It’s not lying per se. Everything that’s being shared is true, but there is a purposeful slant that opens an easy slide into perspectives that serve our own personal desires. It’s human nature and it happens in more than 80% of our conversations. So what makes it troublesome? Instead of talking about what’s wrong with spin, here’s what NOT spinning creates: When we speak authentically...

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A peek behind closed doors: Navigating a shit-storm as a leader

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

If you know me on a personal level, you know that part of my Noble Purpose as a “leader” is to be as transparent, raw, and vulnerable as possible in the name of sharing how and where I fail, and how I use my failures and unexpected, unforeseen “wipe-outs” to put me in a better place than I was before. I’ve been through some doozies. A marriage destroyed by meth-amphetamines, ending in a restraining order, losing most of my possessions and my home . . . But I was given a vision (one I hoped was just a teaching through awareness rather than personal experience) that if I am to truly step up as a leader, the kind I want to see in the world, then I will need to be open to sharing in my hardest moments, and I was shown that I would be given some hard moments...

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My Twin Flame Story + What no one else is telling you about Twin Flame relationships

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

Last Summer, I met my Twin Flame. It was a potent and magical experience and I thought you might be interested in hearing it. I also wanted to share with you a little bit about Twin Flame relationships. It’s something you need to know if you want to attract your own cosmic, epic LOVE. There are shadows to this kind of relationship that everyone who wants one or is in one should know. I created a quick video to share the secrets. Also, my Beloved and I have created a whole website dedicated to helping others who want Royal Love (that’s the BIG L-O-V-E). We want you to have this potent and beautiful experience and we want you to know how to navigate the intense challenges that will most definitely arise as you step into the flames of this passionate union. We have a free gift for you: “Journey with...

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The Sacred Feminine Revolution

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

On the dynamic of women vs. men.   This has been percolating for me for a very long time. I’ve sat down to write many times, but the words just haven’t come out right. Still not sure they are as efficient as they could be, but I do want to share from my heart.   There has been so much coming up and out that is triggering deep, old, centuries old, generations old trauma for women.   It doesn’t matter whether you’ve “done your personal work” or not, watching how women are regarded by leaders in our country, disrespected, belittled, dishonored . . . is helping to unleash a rage that has been smoldering deep since the dawn of patriarchy.   There has been a deep slumber that has taken over humanity that is at the root of being able to see another human, whether it’s the color of their...

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“I feel like a failure in my life.” Here’s what to do.

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

This topic comes up often for my clients, and even for me. It’s true. No matter how much money you make, or how many loving relationships, or how much success a person has, there are still little mental gremlins that try to convince us that we’re not worthy, that we’re failures in some way (or in every way). In this week’s video, I share a little about this experience in my own life and what I do (and what you can do) to move through the negative self-talk that can sometimes lead to downward spirals that are hard to come back from. If you know someone (or even think you might know someone) who suffers from “Wonder Woman” Syndrome (that “gotta be perfect all the time” disease), please share it with them. Comment and let me know if this was helpful, what more you could use support with and anything...

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What’s the meaning of life? Answer

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

Hey Superstar; No big whoop. I’m just going to share with you what Creator told me about the meaning of life. https://youtu.be/9FDQFK1Rtsw to get the scoop. And of course, just because you know, doesn’t mean you have all the tools to actually integrate and put it into practice. But don’t worry! I can help. Get in on all my free gifts (all the posts here + all the cool stuff I send you when you join my mailing list). If you’re not already on my mailing list, make sure to go to the home page, scroll down and give me your name and email and then you’re in! And if you’d like to talk with me about how my personal Spiritual Success Mentoring can help you to actually implement this higher wisdom so you can have a life much happier than you can currently imagine, I’d love to connect. Here’s...

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Audio Interview: Wisdom of the Ancients

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

Enjoy this audio interview (along with several other interviews with international teachers, healers & leaders) I did with Wisdom of the Ancients. We dive into shamanism, plant medicine and other magic. Enjoy! Oh, and you’ll need to scroll down until you see the photo of me (and feel free to enjoy the other interviews on this page!) :: CLICK HERE :: to listen

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Interview: Sacred Feminine, Plant Medicine & the Subconscious

By Amanda Elo’esh Johnsen, M.A.

Check out this recent interview I did with Sabin Minsky for her “Empowered Empath” Summit. We dove into some of the Sacred Feminine practices that can help you to work less and live more in your purpose, how plant medicine allies can accelerate your path to empowerment, and I give a little Subconscious Success Repatterning journey. Enjoy!

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